Earphones
by SaruKaminari
Summary: Naruto finally got a date with Sakura, but he's feeling nervous about it. So he decides to ask Kiba for help with his romance skills! With Kiba and Shikamaru's help, will this date have a happy ending ?


**Oi oi, a little viginette I wrote a while back. I'm a NaruSaku supporter, and despite this chapter's content, an avid ShikaTema supporter**

**I don't own Naruto... but if you didn't know that, you need to start reading the credits, foo'**

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**_Earphones-- a NaruSaku fanfiction----_**

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"Oi, Kiba, you sure this's gonna work?" Naruto whispered into something wedged into his thick, goosenecked collar.

"Of course it will!" Kiba said rather loudly, causing an akward ringing noise in the mike, "When she hears my- er, **your** romantic words, she'll be puddy in your hands"

The blonde haired boy took a deep breath and entered the Shusuya, anxiously waiting for his date to arrive....

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Being fashionably late, Sakura showed up a good 10 minutes after 7pm, just long enugh to make Naruto realize how lucky he was that she'd agreed, but not so long to hide her excitement.

She found the fox-ninja sitting at a booth in the back, he idiotically waved to her. She smiled sweetly (she didn't want to scare him off, after all) and joined him.

Naruto was getting sweaty... the one time he doesn't have on his headband, and his forehead starts to sweat!

"uh...urm, Sakura-chan, you look..." Naruto paused to search for a word in his extremely limited vocabulary

Here, Kiba decided to help, "Say she looks elegant tonight." he whispered into his own mike. (he was safely hidden away at home should Sakura find out Naruto's plan and go on a rampage) Akamaru gave a complient bark

"Sakura-chan," he said, sounding more confident, "you look elegant tonight, arf!"

Sakura stared at him blankly.... did he just...did Naruto just bark?!

Naruto's grin became a dissatisfied scowl...

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"So, what'll you be having tonight sir?" the waitress chirped at Naruto.

"Oi, I'll have the-"

Kiba cut him off, "Say you'll have the salad."

Naruto turned marble white, "Could you excuse me for a moment?" he asked, turning around.

"You never said anything about a salad!" he whispered bitterly to the dog-ninja on the other line.

"Look Naruto, chicks dig sensitive guys, sensitive guys eat salads." he stated, sounding like an expert on women, "buuuut, if you don't want Sakura to like you... then order the biggest bowl of ramen on the menu and slurp it down like the stupid pig you are."

This lead to some nasty, though quietly spoken, words from Naruto to his coat. he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that just because he had turned around, doesn't mean that the waitress and Sakura couldn't hear him.

Sakura stared at him blankly, it may have been a mistake to accept naruto's date...

Suddenly, the situation hit Naruto, "oh crap..." he whispered

The blonde ninja quickly turned around acted as if he hadn't only a few seconds ago been having an arguement with his clothes.

"Yes ma'am, i'll have the salad." he said, mustering up all the manners that flowed through his veins

The waitress akwardly wrote down "salad" on her menu slip, "also, boy at booth 7 may possibly be a problem, keep away from coat rack"

She turned to Sakura, who still stared at her date. "and for you ma'am?"

"I-I'll have the chicken... thank you" she said, always polite.

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When the food finally arrived, Naruto was less than energetic at the thought of having to eat a salad. he poked at the salad with his chopstick.

"Gross..." he thought to himself, continued poking the strange lettuce/vegetable abomination.

"Naruto, what's going on?" Kiba whispered, "I don't hear you eating, something the matter?"

Naruto angrilly turned to his coat again, "Yeah, something's the matter," he spat bitterly into the microphone "I don't know how to eat this with chopsticks!"

Sakura laughed, "Wow Naruto, you really have been eating too much ramen." she grabbed the fork on naruto's left side and showed it to him. "You use a fork for salads."

Naruto grabbed the fork from Sakura's hands, a deep crimson blush had donned itself on his face. "I knew that..." he said, embarrassed.

Was she seeing things? had naruto just asked his tracksuit for table etiquitte?

Things were getting a little too akward for Sakura's taste. "Uhm, I think I'll excuse myself to the bathroom." she mumbled, quickly excusing herself

Naruto paused in midbite. "She hates me...." he sulked into the booth

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"What's with him?" sakura washed her hands in the restroom sink, "He's so weird tonight... and with Naruto, thats really saying something."

She thought of the blonde-haired boy, fondly sighing as she got lost in the memories the two had made since their black-haired companion had fled the village...

She had even dressed herself up for tonight! She swallowed her pride and borrowed some makeup from Ino, and she even help Sakura pick out a nice outfit. All for Naruto...

She caught herself, "No, no, no!" she waved her hands as she screamed inside her head, "He's a weirdo, and tonight proves it!"

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"Oi, what do i do now, huh Mr. Casternova?!" he grumbled to his microphone

"I think you mean, cassenova." a voice corrected him

At the booth behind him sat Shikamaru Nara, a bored and sleepy look on his face as always. Naruto _did_ note however, that he looked really dressed up tonight.

"Oi, shikamaru?" Naruto turned from his white collar, "what're you doing here?"

"Ino talked me into taking her out." the Nara boy grumbled, "I refused at first, but then it was just nag, nag, nag..."

Naruto looked around, "Where's Ino then?" he asked, doubting hikamaru could score a date at all, let alone with Ino.

Shikamaru waved his hand casually, "Who knows? She drags me here, _specifically_ here, _tonight_, and then she disappears." he grumbled, "Why bother?"

Naruto grinned, "200 Ryo says right now, you're thinking she's too troublesome."

Shikamaru paused, obviously he had been caught, "How about instead of that money, I'll give you some tips"

Naruto quirked his head, "Tips?"

"Yeah, you've got someone helping you out with Sakura, don't you?" he lazilly pointed to the hidden microphone.

Shikamaru, the tactician that he is, had long noticed the microphone, but decided to leave it be. What good would it do to point it out anyway?

Naruto jumped, "you knew?!"

"Hey, Shikamaru, help this idiot out!" the mike barked, "Even _my_ romantics can't get through his thick skull!"

The mike then actually did bark, as Akamaru agreed with kiba.

Shikamaru sighed, "Fine, I didn't wanna be here anyway... plus it's actually painful to see you strike out this badly."

"I'll be outside the window, you got a spare mike?"

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Sakura nervously walked out the bathroom door, hoping Naruto had gotten over his insanity. As she sat down at their booth, he noticed something about Naruto, he seemed... calmer...

"That's right, slouch your shoulders more..." Shikamaru ordered, he had tuned the spare mike to frequency number 3 so he could join in on this little project.

Naruto did as told, but Kiba's voice yelled out "He wants to look dashing, not like a bum!"

The sharp pain of Kiba's yell made Naruto straighten up, undoing all of Shikamaru's hard coaching

Sakura looked at him. Yup, he was still weird...

"So, Naruto... have you been... put on a new medication?" she asked, trying to weed out his newfound social akwardness

"Be cool, answer calmly." Shikamaru said quietly

Naruto did his best Shikamaru impersonation, "Nope, medication's too troublesome?" he squeaked the last words out

Kiba and Shikamaru smacked their heads in unison

Sakura had had it. A little weirdness was fine, in fact she had _expected _a little weirdness from the blonde, but this was just too much!

She was oh-so-unsubtly trying to end all conversation when naruto started making noises like he was hurt.

"Ow!" he said, sounding like he was reading a script, "Hey! Cut it out Ino!"

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"Ow!" shikamaru complained, in intense pain, "Hey! Cut it out Ino!"

Ino was currently kicking his face in with high heels.

"I ask for one night of romance with you, and you're out in the bushes, hiding from me?!" she yelled at him

"No, no, not at all!" Shikamaru reasoned, despite the situation, he still sounded bored.

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"Naruto, are you alright?" she asked, maybe an enemy had put some kind of genjutsu on him?

"No, no, not at all?" the blonde questioned just exactly how smooth Shikamaru really was with women

Sakura held up her hands, "Look, you know what, obviously you're having some kind of mental breakdown, and I don't want to intterupt that." she said angrilly, "I'll see you at training tommorrow..." she stormed off

Naruto sat there, completely still... it felt like a little part of him had been ripped out and eaten right then and there...

"Don't just sit there!" Kiba yelled, "Go after her! this is still fixable!"

Naruto sadly switched off the microphone....

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Sakura angrilly stomped out of the shusuya, she couldn't believe how idiotic she must have been to agree to go on a date with Naruto!

As she was about to start her walk home, she noticed Ino stomping on someone near the bushes

No response or movement lead her to believe it was either dead or shikamaru

Ino looked away from her victim/love interest to see the red-hot pink haired kunoichi.

"What's with you?"

"What's with me?!" she yelled, "What's with Naruto?! He acted like a complete and total retard tonight!"

"Naruto fe-" Shikamaru started, but Ino stomped on him again, "I -stomp- didn't -stomp- give you -stomp- permission to speak!"

"Naruto felt," he began again a wheeze in his voice from the pain, "really nervous about your date tonight, so he asked Kiba to lead him through it."

Sakura's eye twitched

"and," he grunted, "I offered to help him out when I noticed that he was failing spectacularly."

Sakura pushed Ino off of the Nara boy with her titanic strength, intent on killing, "Tell me everything."

Shikamaru groaned. and people wondered why women scared him...

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Naruto plodded home... sadly taking each slow step down the dead road.

He was mourning, mourning the grave of his chances to get Sakura to like him... _ever_

As he approached his appartment building, Naruto saw Sakura at the entrance.

"Oh, great... now she's here to beat the snot out of me...." he glumly thought

"Naruto-" she started, but Naruto cut her off

"Look, Sakura... I know I was a complete mental midget tonight... but you just... make me feel... you make me feel really happy..."

Naruto paused, "Even though, after tonight... you'll never want to speak to me again, deny that you ever knew me, and probably-"

"Shikamaru told me everything..." she said sadly

Naruto turned white again, "Oh....crap"

Sakura put her hand on his shoulder, "No no, it's really sweet... that you'd feel like that, enough to go through all that hassle."

Naruto blushed a bright pink.

"And maybe, just maybe... next time you won't need a microphone" Sakura smiled coyly as she walked off into the night...

"Wait!!" Naruto shouted after her, his spirit returned, "There's gonna be a next time?!"


End file.
